I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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