Plan B is the new Plan A
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
PANTIES FOUND
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