Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it's like iHOP with fire
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
