Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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