It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
