a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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