Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
