Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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