Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
