Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Randomize
