THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
