Three words: puerto rican gang bang
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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