just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
