She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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