Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
