I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
