Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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