that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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