and you said cock pushups were impossible
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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