We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
