Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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