i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
