You really coming over, don't trick.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
