oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i think im in europe. pls send help
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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