could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
