We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
