And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
