she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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