Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
