Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
