Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
