I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
