im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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