I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
