East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
