I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
