I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
