i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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