just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Boobs are out for the taking
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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