She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
