I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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