Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
