it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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