woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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