what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
