u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
