their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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