There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
