the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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