Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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