Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
