In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
